Despite the grief, tension, and anxiety, at the end of this process what your child will remember is how you supported him or her. The emotional and practical support you offer will contribute to a successful outcome—even if that outcome or decision is very different from what you may have chosen for yourself.
The parent’s role is to support, advise, and listen, except when it comes to money.
Don’t be swayed by “big name brand” schools. The fact is that there are many excellent schools with reasonable acceptance rates where your child can get a fine education and be happy.
DO NOT do the work for your child. It is very important that your child own this process and that includes writing their own essays, filling out applications, and calling schools to arrange for tours and interviews. Schools look for self-motivated students and much prefer to see how well they can organize and represent themselves in the most positive and impactful way.
Encourage your child to start early and to keep good records of what has to be done and when. Help them to set deadlines for themselves and be attentive to detail.
Be patient and know that this will pass! Keep emotions in check and try to keep the long term goal in perspective without being lost in the detail.
Accompany your child on college visits, but let them take the lead!
Help your child make realistic choices. Help them to consider a good range of colleges.
Be supportive as your child makes his or her choice. Remember, that within the boundaries of your financial constraints and family responsibilities, the choice is your child’s.
Celebrate your child and their success and don’t focus too much on the tuition bill. This is probably one of the best investments you will ever make.
